Jean Bell Mosley's new autobiography, "For Most of the Century," is only available in serialized form in the Southeast Missourian. Return each week for her continuing story.

My journal entries for 1981, 1982, 1983 were full of notations about Church Circle, Quest Club, Writers Guild meetings, giving a program here, there, everywhere, Lauren and Stephen's visits with me, my visits with Lillian and Lucille, and all the little blessings and wonders of just seeing and noticing things that seem like spoken sentences from God. Then early in 1984 came this entry.

Feb. 8, 1984 -- Gave arts reports at Aleen Wheking's for Quest Club. Felt bad physically afterwards, so left the meeting and came home. Blood pressure was high (by my kit) but soon dropped. Knowing my blood pressure problem, such things scare me a bit.

Feb. 9, 1984 -- Life seems so good and pleasant after a little scare. It is pleasant not to be pressured, rushed, or have anything to do at a set time.

And life was good, but later that day, about 4:00 p.m. I had a recurrence of the "bad feeling." I called my friend, Ruth May, who came to take me to Dr. Ronald Robinson's office. He did an EKG and gave me a nitro-glycerin pill and sent me directly to Southeast Missouri Hospital. On the sheet of paper Dr. Robinson had given me to take to the hospital were the words, "Coronary infarction." I had seen those words before on Edward's hospital papers.

Oxygen, Heparin lock, Nitro-patches, heart monitor followed in quick succession. Medication, headaches, blood thinner and plans for an arteriogram followed.

Dr. Allen Spitler was called in as my cardiologist. Seven days later the arteriogram was performed at about 2:30 p.m.

I was given some kind of tranquilizer before going down to what seemed like some sort of shabby tunnel to an X-ray department. The hospital was under renovation at this particular time. The nurses and interns rolling me along on the gurney laughingly assured me they weren't taking me to any trash pile. When we arrived at the proper place, I was rolled onto a sort of canvas semi-hammock. I learned later it was called a cradle. I sent my mind back to the hammock that had hung between the apple trees where I had spent so many pleasant hours, Black Silk purring beside me.

An X-ray square was positioned above me. I was covered with a plastic sheet just as they did for operations. I pretended it was one of the old quilts I had padded the hammock with. The lab men and Dr. Spitler kept up a running conversation between themselves and with me. I wonder if I said something like, "There's going to be a lot of apples this year."

I was given a shot of something I believe they called Valium. Then a little sting was felt in the groin where and when the catheter was inserted. I felt no movement of the catheter at all as it sent up through the artery. Then, several times the doctors asked me to breathe deeply and cough.

I had a hiatial hernia attack of hot saliva welling up in my throat and told the doctors so. They gave me Mylanta which I sipped through some kind of narrow opening. Sipping it while lying down, I took the hiccups and thought I'd maybe have to do the procedure all over again, but I guess the hiccups made no difference.

I was turned from side to side, all the time hearing the nurse reading, aloud, my blood pressure, which fell, as I suppose is normal.

Then there was a warm sensation when the dye was released into the heart chamber, just as had been predicted, and of which I read about in the brochures that had been given to me beforehand.

When it was over, which didn't last long -- about 10 or 15 minutes and the catheter was removed, there was a warm liquid sensation as if I were wetting something, but wasn't, just as the literature had said. Then, back to my room.

Dr. Spitler was up almost immediately to give me a report and a picture of what had happened. It seemed an artery was about 60 percent clogged. But the doctor and everyone else concerned was happy about the results. It would be treated with medication.

~Jean Bell Mosley is an author and longtime resident of Cape Girardeau.

Sell it at half-price

IN REGARDS to the overload at the Salvation Army: In my hometown we have a Purple Heart Thrift Shop. Each day they have a different half-price sale going on. Monday it may be clothing, Wednesday it may be furniture, Friday it's usually everything in the store. Perhaps if the Salvation Army started doing something like this, they would not only move their stuff a little bit faster, they would also provide it at a more reasonable price to the people that really need it.

Animal abuse leads to child abuse

I REALIZE I am taking the coward's way out, but I am afraid by finding my name that the person who get their kicks from seeing animals tear each apart to the death would not hesitate to retaliate on whoever tried to stop him. It has been proven that animal abuse leads to child abuse, and when you see a child who is allowed to watch animals being tortured or who likes to torture animals himself, watch out. That child is in trouble and may well grow up to be the adult who abuses others. Vote yes to ban cockfighting.

Save a lot of hassle by resigning

WHAT A sad state of affairs when Congress has to spend its time on a perjured president instead of the nation's important business. This is the sad situation Clinton has brought our country to. He should resign and save our Congress' time for the country's welfare.

Still no apology

I LISTENED to President Clinton's Orlando address which they have touted on CNN as an apology. I didn't hear him apologize. He's never apologized to the American people. He regrets what he did, and I can understand that, but he's never apologized for lying to us. That rascal needs to go.

Clean up after yourselves

THIS IS concerning the caller who was talking about Shawnee Park and the fact that the Parks and Recreation Department doesn't clean the park. I know for a fact that there is a parks department truck there five days a week and on Sunday morning. Possibly, someone in the meantime has messed up the park. Maybe the people who are so concerned might clean up after themselves also. We talk a lot about the dogs. Dogs are just animals. People are people. If it's children, you need to teach your children to clean up after themselves. Let's all try to work together and keep the parks clean, not fuss and holler about it when some people litter after the parks department's truck has been there.

It's time to let it go

LINDA TRIPP must be feeling real proud of herself by now. She opened a can of worms when she set out to ruin President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. She has hurt a lot of innocent people. The ripple is spreading far and wide. Now it has reached out to the Burton family, especially hurting his teen-age son. It's time to let it go before more innocent kids get hurt.

Long lines at license bureau

WE HEAR a lot about road rage. What about automobile license rage in Cape Girardeau? After driving 10 miles to downtown by the river on Spanish Street, one licensee has passed up the license bureau because there is no sign on the tiny building except on the front window. He circles the block, turns into the parking lot and finds the five or six parking spaces full. He circles again, up and down both sides for two blocks. Finally he waits for a person to come out and move a car. He parks, goes inside to find 10 or 12 people waiting in line for two clerks. Each clerk needs approximately 10 minutes with each patron, more often 15 to 20 minutes, so if the license seeker is brave and strong, he stands in line for an hour to get his business done. The only thing that keeps him from having a tantrum or a stroke is the sight of an old or disabled person waiting in that line.

Worship is misdirected

IF WE worshipped God half as much as we worship sports and athletes these days and a lying skunk of a president, there just might be some hope for these United States of America. God help us all.

Raise tuition instead

I JUST wanted to comment on the university asking us to pay taxes for something that they are going to use. Some of us don't have kids in their college. Some of us won't be able to afford to put our kids in their college, so why should we have to pay? If they want extra money for their spending, they need to raise their tuition, because some of us just cannot afford what we're paying now.

Go after Dan Burton

I JUST watched one of the most disgusting interviews I've ever seen on TV where a guy was defending Republican Rep. Dan Burton of Indiana for his adultery years ago. His contention was it was private, it was 15 years ago, it was settled, why dig it up now? And a Republican paper in Indianapolis had the guts to print the cotton-pickin' story. We don't have that kind guts in the Southeast Missourian to go after it. The guy was trying to defend Dan Burton for what he did. He's investigating campaign-finance scandals and talks about honesty, integrity and all that kind of crap. Now, why can't we get this kind of information in the Southeast Missourian? Dan Burton committed adultery and doesn't want to talk about it. Neither do the Republicans. You dig up crap on Clinton. Dig up stuff on your own people.

Right to know accusations

I UNDERSTAND Ken Starr would not let the president's counsel review his findings and the charges he's got against the president and what he's presented to Congress for impeachment. That is everyone's right: to know their accusers and to know what they're being accused of. That's what it's all about. That's our system, being innocent until proven guilty, unless, of course, you're President Clinton. I guess he's really guilty until he proves himself innocent. It's been a kangaroo court all the way. They're railroading him all the way. It's just in the name of sex and politics. They resented a Democrat getting elected to the White House. Wall Street along with the millionaires want to run the country, kill the labor unions and then have the poor man as their slaves, like it was at the turn of the century. That's what it's all about.

Gephardt's lack of character

SINCE SEN. Gephardt of Missouri still is a strong supporter of Bill Clinton, I wouldn't vote for Mr. Gephardt for dog catcher or for anything else. I don't care if he is from Missouri. It just tells me about his lack of character.

Schools need hot-weather schedule

THE CAPE Girardeau public school mothers have gotten really frustrated by this hot weather and letting school out early. We need to have a schedule. The mothers need to know that if school's going to be let out early for hot weather that it's at the same time each time it happens. And they need some notice, at least a hour ahead of time. Can't we put together a hot-weather schedule and let the kids out of school, say, exactly three hours before their usual time? But have a schedule, stick to the schedule and do it every time the same way.

Push for Jackson curfew

JACKSON'S LACK of a curfew is a growing problem. I've talked to the police department on this issue, and its hands are tied. So we the citizens of Jackson must take a step towards assuring our police are not baby sitting your teen-agers after midnight. Jackson is running with underage people at all hours of the night. Now that Cape is enforcing a curfew, where do you think the Cape kids will go late at night? That can only lead to more trouble and more demand on Jackson police force. You say parents are responsible for their children, which is true. But without a law on the books and a court system to back them after the police bring them home for the third time, there's not a lot the parents or police can do. Please call Speak Out, aldermen, police personnel and city hall about this matter. If you say let them go, they're not hurting anything, you're also the same person who will yell at the police when you daughter gets pregnant or child steals something or vandalizes or, heaven forbid, come up missing because you just don't know what they're doing or where they're at.

Commandments of the road

THE TWELVE commandments of driving: 1. Thou shalt not pull out in front of people. 2. Thou shalt not gas it at red lights. 3. Thou shall keep thy front bumper off my trailer hitch. 4. Thou shalt not do 15 mph in a 45 mph zone. 5. Thou shalt make left-hand turns from the turning lane, not the right lane. 6. Thou shalt use only one parking place. 7. Thou shalt not smash my door while I shop. 8. Thou shalt not toss fast food wrappers out the window. 9. Thou shalt not park in the middle of street so thou can chat. 10. Thou shalt pay attention to the road, not thy cell phone. 11. Thou shalt leave the sacrificial wine alone while driving. 12. Thou art not in Chicago. Please quit driving like thou art.

Thanks for feel-good story

IN A year marred by the infidelity and fall from grace by our president, it's good to have the feel-good story of Mark McGwire. Thank you and congratulations on a record-breaking season, Mark.

Returning ball is unbelievable

UNBELIEVABLE, THAT'S all I can say. Every day I get up and I read the paper about violence, kids shooting kids and then a guy gives a $1 million ball back to McGwire. It took sports to do it, to show that there is some good in the world. Unbelievable.

It's just a poker hand

THE REPUBLICAN Party is trying to make it a one-party government. That's why Ken Starr wouldn't let the president's attorney see his so-called report, because he doesn't have anything that could be used for impeachment of the president. It's just a poker hand. So hang in there, all you Democrats. It will be OK. Don't jump ship like some wimps have already. There hasn't been anyone who can run the country as well as President Clinton has. If you open the Republicans' closets, lots of skeletons will fall out too.

Other needs come first

IT IS a shame we don't take care of our own needs in Cape Girardeau but are willing to take care of the university needs. I'm against the motel and restaurant tax hike. Let the university pay its own way. Let's take care of our own buildings, like the Arena Building. The roof leaks when it rains, and the bathrooms are full of sewage. Our children need their education, so where is the air conditioning so children don't have to be sent home and parents don't have to worry about where to put their children after school's out? Wake up, people of Cape Girardeau.

Election Day hypocrites

I'M AN old Democrat and veteran. In the '40s and '50s and part of the '60s, my family voted Democrat as I did. Then they stopped talking about patriotism and God and what I can do for my country and started talking about what the government owed them for living in America, which became the home of every scummy organization such as the ACLU, women's lib groups, pro-abortion crowd, the gay and lesbian coalition, the atheists and the Hollywood anything-goes crowd. I'm proud to say one by one, we quit the party and became independents. We could not longer go to church on Sunday, then be a hypocrite on Election Day.

Coverage for kids is good idea

WELL, READING the paper over my morning coffee I come across the Speak Out comment, "Coverage for kids costs taxpayers." We're all taxpayers, and we all pay for it. I feel that this person has a very narrow view of the family services division. The people who are on Medicaid that's in place now are usually low-income families that can't afford insurance through their companies or are not offered insurance through their companies. The people I'm talking about are the people who are getting federal minimum wage or working for tips in these chain restaurants and getting a small salary of $2 or so an hour. I feel that it's a very naive view of this person to think that every person who walks in the door at family services gets Medicaid. Those families are scrutinized. They're looked at through a microscope very closely. They have to meet certain federal and state guidelines before they're ever considered for it. And I feel the law that the governor signed the other day is an extremely good law. It helps a lot of families and a lot of kids who wouldn't normally get medical care. I just think it's a good idea, and I feel sorry for the person that gave these negative view about Medicaid. We all pay for. I have no problem with it.

More concern about utility bills

THIS IS in regard to the utility bills. We too received an estimated and exorbitant bill this month from AmerenUE. It was three times the usual individual bills for June, July and August for the past three summer seasons. We paid it. We had no choice. But we are anxious to see how they distribute the overcharge for the next three months.

Low marks for governor

I SEE that a new Cato Institute report on each state's fiscal spending has our Governor Carnahan being one of three governors who got Fs.

Mother needs insurance help

I'M CALLING in regards to the person who called in about insurance coverage for kids. I am a single parent, and I have a full-time job. I also attend college full-time. I am unable to afford insurance on my child due to the fact that the father is not involved and I have no help from him at all. I was recently diagnosed with cancer, and I can barely afford to have insurance on myself which is being canceled in the next two months. My son is on Medicaid. I don't appreciate someone saying that the only reason that we have kids is to get handouts from the governments as far as welfare checks and things like and if we can't afford insurance on our kids we shouldn't have them. That's not necessarily true. If you're going to say things like that, you need to get your facts straight before you do it. I work very hard, and I take care of my son perfectly fine. I don't think it's fair for people like you to run your mouth like that.

Questions about child custody

THIS IS on your meth and deadbeat dads that I've done a lot of reading about in your paper. I've been married to my husband for five years, I've been with him for seven. He has three kids by a previous marriage. His ex was picked up for manufacturing and distribution of meth. He's got court papers that give him visitation, and if any parent is going to be away from the children for more than five hours, the other parent has the opportunity to care for the kids. We recently went to court to get custody because the mother is going to be spending time in the pen for this, and the children's grandmother has filed for custody. She lives out of the state, very far away. I don't understand how the courts could even consider giving children to a grandmother with a perfectly good father and home, people who are willing and wanting to take care of them. I would like to know if there's anyone out there that can help me in this situation. We love the kids. I love the kids as my own. I have a child my own with my husband. I'd just like to know if anybody has any information that can help us in this situation.

No disgrace for great president

I PRAY there will never be an impeachment, because we'd be losing a good president in spite of the bad mistakes he made. But he won't go down in disgrace. It will be Ken Starr who will go down in disgrace. It will be Linda Tripp who goes down in disgrace. It will be these congressmen, the one from Indiana who called the president a scumbag. They'll go down as the ones in disgrace. He'll still be a great president, impeached or not.

Where's the forgiveness?

WE ARE a Christian nation that does not practice forgiveness.

Sikeston schools among the best

CONGRATULATIONS TO the Sikeston public schools and the Sikeston School Board for receiving an award from Governor Carnahan. You must be one of the best academic schools in the state to be one of only three to receive that award. Now, that's really doing something. I've often wondered how can we compare our schools for academic excellence.

They will make more

I HAVE some sad news for all these folks waiting in line to buy all this Mark McGwire merchandise. They'll make more. There's no need to stand in line for two or three hours when you can walk in the next day or possibly the day after that and pick up the stuff off the shelf. These aren't limited-edition T-shirts and hats. They'll make more as long as they're selling them.

Two American heroes

MARK MCGWIRE and Kenneth Starr are two American heroes. They both kept their eye on the ball while being honest, good citizens of this country. God bless America.

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YELL provides more than newspapers

By Donna Bedwell

Last year R.J. Schultz Middle School used a $400 YELL literacy grant to buy books used in its reading fair.

Each year organizations may apply for literacy grants funded by YELL money. Any organization (school, club, library, etc.) may apply. The guideline is simple. Any money awarded will be used to help increase literacy.

Cape Girardeau, Jackson and Scott City participate in the YELL campaign. The money earned in each city stays in that city to benefit its residents.

Half of YELL proceeds are used to fund the Newspapers in Education program. The remainder is up for grabs.

Most schools that apply for grants use the money to fund early childhood reading programs such as Jefferson's Sunshine Kindergarten Kit and the Reading Recovery program.

St. Mary used last year's grant to purchase books for its K-3 Accelerated Reader program. Washington spent $200 on books and equipment for its Reading Renaissance Accelerated Reader program serving fourth-graders through sixth-graders.

Grants are not limited to elementary schools or early readers. Thanks to an $800 grant, Educare was able to purchase books for families in the Read from the Start literacy program. Adult Basic Education Literacy also received $800, which it used for supplemental reading materials for adults.

The Otahki Girl Scout Council used its grant to help girls participate in the council's basketball interest group. Sports magazines and books on fitness and nutrition were purchased. Millie Turner, membership director for the council, said the grant enabled the council to use literacy as a part of the extension of sports to the whole girl, not just the athlete.

The Alternative Education Center in Cape Girardeau, which is grant-funded, was able to purchase dictionaries for students in the program. The literacy grant allowed the center to supply the students with "extras" that don't always fit into its budget.

Riverside Regional Library in Jackson used its grant to reach farther out into the surrounding communities. A series of My First Reader books were purchased. These were boxed in attractive sets, and each set was supplied with a survey for reader reaction.

Questions centered on vocabulary -- where new and familiar words were encountered, how many times were certain books read and what types of additional materials did the readers want.

The library has received 61 responses so far, but Riverside Regional has five branches in outlying areas. The books are making their way through the branches, and responses are still coming in.

The library plans to apply for a grant again this year. High on its wish list will be kits with beginning reading material and perhaps books with cassettes so readers may follow along.

Cape Public Library relies on its YELL grant to fund the summer reading programs. More than 1,200 youngsters participated in the program last year. Not only do the children have access to a larger variety of reading material, they are also able to "earn" books for their own personal libraries.

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Girl Scouts see importance in literacy issues

The Otahki Girl Scout Council recognizes the importance of promoting literacy issues and encourages girls and adults to explore activities that build skills in reading, writing and communications as an important part of the Girl Scout program.

Resources are designed to encourage girls and adults to discover the joy of reading. Age appropriate stories and activities are included in handbooks and manuals that adults and girls use during Girl Scout activities.

Otahki Council also incorporates literacy activities in special events that promote fun and learning. Each year more than 500 Brownie Girl Scouts participate in Fall Frolic Events in which girls and adults participate in creative activities.

A new Girl Scout resource for all ages focuses on literacy. Entitled "Read to Lead," it is filled with interesting activities that increase skills in reading, creative writing and learning about career development for girls and adults.

In 1997, Otahki Council started an interest group in collaboration with the Cape Civic Center. Girls come together to practice basketball and track and also participate in exploring newspaper and magazines for information about their sports heroes or learning about careers in athletics and sports.

Throughout the Girl Scout program, whether the girls are 5-year-old Daisy Girl Scouts or 17-year-old Senior Girl Scouts, the need for communication skills is recognized as a critical priority.

Reading, writing and listening are fundamental, not only because they are a necessary part of most routine tasks and activities, but also because they can open doors to new ideas and inspirations.

The Girl Scouts continue to be proactive by incorporating literacy into its family-oriented program.