RIVER CITY JOURNAL: LAUGH A DAY KEEPS OLD AGE AT BAY -- OR SO THEY SAY

Finding a rhyme for "relish" was just too much of a challenge for a sizable number of kind and generous readers.

Sometimes, readers, you do things that are so downright thoughtful, generous and unexpected.

Not unexpected in the sense that you are incapable of doing these things. More like unexpected in the sense that we live in a hurly-burly world where finding time to do something good just because it's -- well, good -- is rarely expected.

Let me give you a wonderful example.

Last week, the headline on my column said, "Do you know how hard it is to find a word to rhyme with relish?"

The column was about cranberries. I am particularly fond of cranberry relish, especially if turkey also is on the menu.

I was going to write a little poem to go with my column last week. I try to do that from time to time, because it's fun to think up little rhymes to illustrate your point.

But last week wasn't a good rhyming week for me. Thus the headline. And, you will recall, no poem.

Andrea Buchanan, one of our copy editors, thoughtfully had an e-mail waiting for me when I came to work Friday morning. It was just full of words that rhyme with "relish."

I responded with another e-mail that listed all the reasons I couldn't use the words she suggested. Not that her suggestions weren't good. They were quite good. But an old editor has to be careful when young copy editors start showing they are smarter and quicker -- and better rhymers -- than you are.

A couple of other folks this past week mentioned their favorite words that rhyme with relish. It was beginning to look like I was the only one with rhyming block. Everyone else could rattle off words to rhyme with "relish" like nobody's business.

Look, I'm old.

One distinct advantage of attaining a certain age is that you get to use it. I can't tell you how many times I've used the "I'm old" excuse to some advantage.

Remember the time I went to the pizza place without the $3 coupon? I told the young woman at the cash register: "My wife had the coupon on the kitchen counter, but I forgot it. I'm old." I looked at her with what I thought were appropriately moist eyes. Apparently I touched a soft spot in her heart. She gave me the $3 discount.

At lunch with some of my colleagues this week, someone mentioned that students don't seem to be required to memorize poems like we used to. I said I remember memorizing a lot of poetry in my school days, but now I can't remember an entire poem, unless you count the short "Trees" by Joyce Kilmer.

I take that back. I just tried to recite "Trees," and all I can remember is the first line.

That's what I told my colleagues at lunch. I know a lot of first lines. But most of the time I don't even know what poem they're from or who wrote those words.

Yup. I'm old.

But not too old to get a really good laugh right after lunch Tuesday thanks to a sharp reader who took up the "relish" rhyme challenge.

Ann Wagner left a handwritten ditty for me that demonstrated an amazing wealth of rhyming skill. I laughed. Then I read it to some folks here at the newspaper. Each time I read it, I laughed again.

I think laughing is good medicine for my old age. And this is just about the best dose I've had in a long time. I hope you get a kick out of Ann's poem too. Here it is:

My boss made yesterday hellish

By asking if I would embellish

The seafood buffet

In an elegant way

With an array of various shellfish.

But as we approached the collation,

An odor demanding notation

Made mission forgotten.

"There's something rotten!"

He cried. "Get in there and smell fish!"

Just look at all those words that rhyme with "relish." Thank you, Ann Wagner, for making life a whole lot brighter.

~R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian.