featuresAugust 17, 1996
As the old adage goes, "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and a complete social dud." Turning in at sundown and getting up with the cows, we are taught, is an integral part of clean and successful living. Plus, since cows are not allowed in coffee shops -- not reputable coffee shops at any rate -- they appreciate it when someone takes the time to smoke cigarettes and discuss politics with them over breakfast...

As the old adage goes, "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and a complete social dud."

Turning in at sundown and getting up with the cows, we are taught, is an integral part of clean and successful living. Plus, since cows are not allowed in coffee shops -- not reputable coffee shops at any rate -- they appreciate it when someone takes the time to smoke cigarettes and discuss politics with them over breakfast.

Only those up to the Devil's work, the ancient argument goes, find it necessary to stay up until all hours.

Obviously the person who came up with this concept never worked third shift and probably didn't date much.

While proponents of an early nighty-night time may have had a point prior to electricity when every hour of daylight had to be put to good use for maximum productivity, things have changed.

For one, cable television keeps people up watching the numerous late night talk shows which constantly recycle the same guests and Psychotic Friends Network infomercials which constantly recycle the same washed-up actors, most of whom haven't worked since they were contestants on "Match Game '76" or "The Gong Show."

Back in Benjamin Franklin's day they didn't have round-the-clock cable television. Franklin and the other Founding Fathers were stuck with broadcast stations which seldom showed anything worth staying up for.

We are now a 24-hour-a-day society and many productive and upstanding folks -- busy doing productive and upstanding things -- are out and about in the middle of the night, not just insomniacs, alcoholics and angry loners.

Despite this, the night still holds a bad reputation.

Because most people are asleep and darkness is a cloak for nefarious activity, nighttime is still the right time to be up to no good.

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The fine people of Jackson, concerned about rising juvenile crime, are considering a curfew in their fair city as a way to curtail the nocturnal activities of youthful ne'er-do-wells. Who can blame them, Cape Girardeau's curfew has been so effective at wiping out juvenile delinquency.

There is nothing wrong with a reasonable curfew. Few would argue that after 11 p.m. or midnight, the youngins should be safely at home, dressed in their Underoos and watching the Psychotic Friends Network.

But disturbing is the suggestion made by some Jacksonians that parents of curfew violators also be punished.

If a kid busts a window, smashes in a mailbox or runs a fraudulent investment banking scheme to bilk people out of millions, parents should be responsible for paying financial restitution to victims. Parents can then exact their own retribution from the hides of the financially dependent little brats.

But to expose a parent to criminal prosecution for the actions of their kids is extreme. That's like firing the brewmaster because the guy driving the beer truck is late with deliveries.

Though some parents are indifferent, most care what their kids are up to. However, even the nosiest parent can't be expected to know everything their kid is up to, especially if the kid is good at covering his tracks.

My folks didn't know half of the things I was doing that I wasn't supposed to be doing and I had a mom who always waited up for me until I got home and was an expert at the art of interrogation.

If a curfew is enacted it is unlikely to put even the most minuscule of dents in local juvenile crime.

Some of the minor teen-age hijinks might decrease slightly, but if a kid is intent on committing a serious felony, it is doubtful fear of violating curfew will be much of a deterrent.

Then again, it's one thing to commit a robbery or an assault, but it's quite another to break curfew. That would be wrong.

Marc Powers is member of the Southeast Missourian news staff.

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