LETTERS FROM HOME: `AMAZING GRACE' THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

April 27, 1995

Dear Leslie,

Last Sunday, DC and I went to a service at the third oldest Presbyterian church west of the Mississippi, in a town of 125 called Pocahontas.

They only open the church a few times a year. Two woodstoves in the back warmed us, and four kerosene lamps hanging from the ceiling "wishhhhed" away as we sang old-time hymns like "Amazing Grace" and "God Be With You Till We Meet Again."

Nobody said anything about Oklahoma City. They didn't have to.

DC and her friend Sharon stood up front and sang a couple of songs together. I love a woman who can sing.

The hymns were accompanied by a pump organ bought by the women of the church in 1879. Most of the people there were descendants of the people who founded the church.

"I'm sure the ancestors would say, It was worth it," the organizer concluded.

It was like a scene from "Andy of Mayberry." In a good way. A few minutes of pure safety, of joining voices in song and souls in thanks to God.

We're through the looking glass now, aren't we? The country's far right wing demands weaker law enforcement and arms itself against the newest enemy -- the federal government. Like Pogo said, every time we encounter the enemy it is us.

Talk show hosts who spew venom and hatred every day, mocking, dividing and conquering, easily accepted credit for the Republican landslide in November and now deny that same atmosphere could blow apart a building.

The war of ideas made manifest.

When an Islamic fundamentalist does something akin to the Oklahoma City bombing, an entire religion or country are condemned. But when it's the handiwork of one of our own, they're wackos. The "Patriots" and "Militiamen," they're just regular guys in training for Armageddon.

We don't own up to our own wackoness.

I wonder how we appear from afar -- the Rodney King riots, Waco, now Oklahoma City. There those crazy Americans go, killing themselves again.

People who lived through the '60s remember it was the left wing that attacked the federal government, who feared its power. I guess if you live long enough you get to see life from all sides. If you live long enough.

One robin's nest has been built above our front door and another under the eaves over the back door. We must have scared the robin at the front door because the nest and three blue eggs seem to have been abandoned. The robin in back sits there through our comings and goings, either more trusting of us or more purposeful. We peep out the bathroom window expecting to see babies any day now.

These things -- ancestral hymns, the sound of my wife's voice, robin eggs -- promise a future at a moment when the images of a riven building and grieving families have overwhelmed our consciousness.

I am angry at people in the communication business who argue that words have no power. Every time someone is called stupid represents another drop of poison into the cup of humanity. Every time someone is gossiped about or disparaged defiles this creation we're all part of.

We all do it. We all know better.

We're afraid we don't have enough love to accept each other as we are.

Will the day come when ideas and beliefs different from our own don't threaten us?

Love, Sam

~Sam Blackwell is a staff writer for the Southeast Misourian.