Dear Abby:

I am a 16-year-old girl. About two months ago, I fell asleep while driving home, and my car was totaled. A few pieces were lying here and there in the ditch I ended up in. I was told that I must have rolled over two or three times. When the car came to a stop, I was hanging upside down by my seat belt. If it hadn't been for that buckled seat belt, I would have been seriously injured, or maybe killed.

Abby, I don't remember a thing that happened from when I started to go off one shoulder of the road until the car came to a complete halt upside down in the ditch. My parents say it is probably "selective amnesia."

What do you think? Is it possible that some time in the future, I might remember going through the wreck?

Amy in Burfordville, Mo.

Dear Amy:

It's doubtful; the mind has a wonderful way of protecting us from painful memories. Consider yourself one lucky young lady, both because you survived and because you DON'T have to remember such a horrific experience.

Dear Abby:

I am a teen-ager who thinks your response to "Concerned Parents," whose 14- and 11-year-old sons want to shave their heads because it's the "in thing," that it's also the "gang thing" was right on the money!

Shaved heads can and do send the wrong signals. It's true that many gangs have adopted this look, and they really do resent nonmembers who copy them. I've known kids who've been attacked for "copying," or they're mistaken for members of rival gangs. This applies to people of all races.

I know people close to the Oklahoma bombing tragedy, and I've had nightmares about Timothy McVeigh's buzzed image. This is a look that seems to stand for violence and war. (What's the first thing they do to enlistees at boot camp? Shave their heads!)

Parents, play it safe and say no. Don't invite trouble. Even if you don't live near gangs, you might have reason to visit an area at some time where they are present. They're not confined just to the inner cities anymore.

Shaved heads, buzz or brush cuts have a different meaning today than they did a generation ago. I know a lot of guys who think they look cool. To me they look like skinned rats. They look downright ugly. I'm also not fond of the "skater" cut that makes the guy look like he has a bowl on his head, nor do I like the baseball caps, half-shaved heads, little ponytails or goatees. I'm sure most kids do it to rebel, but I think they look geeky. I hope these trends pass, or I may never date.

I know looks shouldn't matter that much -- it's what's on the inside that counts -- but I can't help it. Those styles may look cool to some people, but they turn me off. Maybe it's because I've had negative experiences with those guys. It's not only a "look," it's also an attitude.

My parents say I have a lot of time to worry about dating, anyway. I'll wait as long as it takes.

Not About to Comprise

Dear Not:

To stand alone and not join the crowd takes courage and conviction. I predict that one of these days, a young man whose values mirror your own will show up.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)