JOY ALONG THE WAY: SUNSET ON '95

In the days leading up to the New Year, I watched a downy woodpecker walk, upside-down, down the big oak at my back steps. Upside-down! The squirrels do that, too. A particular squirrel even stopped, raised his head to look querulously at me, as if to say, "What's the matter? Can't you do this?"

I salute the squirrel but reply in silent Animalese, "Yeah, but you don't even know how to tell TIME. You have no idea we're about to start a new year.

Squirrel proceeds on farther down the tree trunk then stops again to look at me, acting like I've belatedly caught his attention and he is ready to halfway listen.

"TIME, Squirrel, TIME. You can't see it, but you know it is there. It is one of those things that falls under the definition of continuum -- a continuous whole, no part of which can be distinguished from a neighboring part. Hold still Squirrel, now, and let me explain.

"You see man has taken time and, although intangible, chopped it up into manageable units like minutes, days, years and eons and synchronized it all over the world. There's a little part of London known as Greenwich where a meridian numbered zero runs through, although you can't see it either. TIME starts there, er, that is the TIME man has chopped up, not the continuum kind."

Do squirrels laugh or smirk?

"I know, Squirrel. It does seem impossible to chop up something that has no substance, but man has gone and done it! Otherwise, we'd never have gotten to the moon and back, right on TIME, too, nor launched a cruise missile to land on a target at the exact moment, or know that we're, that is man, starting a new year. We're going to call it 1996 and it is going to be exciting.

"Now come on down, Squirrel. Sit up straight. Face this way, and I'll explain to you all about relativity and TIME and continuum and space and Einstein."

Squirrel jerks his tail around impertinently as if he thinks I'm being pedantic, dogmatic, or George Will-like, or maybe don't know what I'm talking about.

"Squirrel, you might think relativity is the activity that goes on between cousins and aunts and uncles, but it isn't. It's -- er -- well you see -- wait a minute, let me get another cup of coffee."

When I get back to my viewing window Squirrel is gone. Oh well, it is a tedious subject and I'm a bit rusty. TIME does that to one. I wonder, should I go back and review in just what way TIME differs from space and read again about a photographic zenith tube somewhere which tells the exact moments when stars cross the meridian so we can get a fix on TIME. It would be so TIME consuming. There I go again. How can you consume an intangible?

1996! How TIME does fly. Which way does it fly since it has no fixed starting point, no base of reference, i.e. the continuum TIME.

What few worries Squirrel has about TIME. Not like humans who are always running out of it. Chopped up kind, that is. Here another year is gone. TIME a'mighty!

REJOICE!

Jean Bell Molsey is an author and longtime columnists for the Southeast Missourian.