MARK MY WORD: AMERICANS THANKFUL FOR MR. TURKEY

Thanksgiving is a uniquely American holiday, the one time of the year when you can pig out at the dinner table and get away with it.

My 2-year-old daughter, Becca, already knows this basic fact. The other day I asked her if she knew what Thanksgiving was.

"Mr. Turkey, Mr. Turkey," she instantly replied.

Except for indigestion from overeating, most Americans know less about Thanksgiving than the average turkey.

The first Thanksgiving observance in America was entirely religious and didn't involve feasting or even finger food. Naturally, most of the colonists elected to order pizza instead.

On Dec. 4, 1619, 38 English settlers arrived at Berkeley Plantation in Virginia. The group's non-refundable charter tour required that the day of arrival be observed annually as Thanksgiving.

The first Thanksgiving in New England was celebrated by the pilgrims, who dressed in funny hats and carried around primitive assault rifles.

The first dreadful winter in Massachusetts killed about half the members of the colony. But new hope arose in the summer of 1621 that the other half wouldn't die before winter.

Actually, the settlers expected a good corn harvest. In early August, Gov. William Bradford arranged a harvest festival to give thanks for the fact that they hadn't all starved to death.

The festival lasted three days. The Plymouth and Chrysler men shot ducks, geese, turkey and anything else that moved.

The menu also included clams, eel and other seafood, wild plums, corn bread and watercress.

About 90 Indians attended the festival even though there wasn't any bingo.

Everyone ate outdoors at large tables -- except for the men, who preferred to drink beer and watch football.

The custom of pigging out on Thanksgiving Day soon spread to the other colonies, although few people thought much of the traditional Thanksgiving eel and dressing.

During the Revolutionary War, eight special days of thanks were observed for victories, parades and watching football.

In our nation's early years, there were no grocery store turkey specials or Macy's parade to alert us to the fact that the holiday was upon us.

So in 1789, President George Washington issued a general proclamation naming Nov. 26 as Thanksgiving Day for the National Football League.

Abraham Lincoln scheduled Thanksgiving on the last Thursday in November. But in 1941, it was officially moved to the fourth Thursday in November so that Santa Claus could arrive earlier at the mall.

Thanksgiving is a time to feast on turkey. But if Benjamin Franklin had had his way, the turkey would have been the national bird. And if that had happened, we'd probably be dining on eagle and dressing this week.

Thanksgiving is a great holiday for Americans, but it's a real bummer for the turkey.

We talk a lot about diet and exercise, but what we really like are fat turkeys.

If turkeys would go on a diet, we'd probably switch to fried chicken for our Thanksgiving meal.

That would be OK with my daughter, who considers chicken fingers to be the only edible meat in the world.

Still I wouldn't like it. To me, Thanksgiving just wouldn't be the same without Mr. Turkey.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.