Accepting life as it is

Would you like it if you had everything as you want it? Are you tired of people who disagree with your opinion? What if everybody agreed with your opinion? You feel as if you're right, anyway.

This view may sound absurd, but although people don't always voice their inner feelings, many can't tolerate opinions that are different from the ones we possess. Sometimes we engage in the narrow-mindedness of believing there is only one way to do things, and that way is OURS. We are filled with pride in our own wisdom. We are loaded with a vocabulary of oughts and shoulds. If things aren't as we desire, or believe they should be, a judgment is made. In our mind the decision is wrong if it fails to match our own. We would rather be right than to get along with those around us. Often we are not even familiar with the mores and customs of those of whom we're criticizing. Others may have grown up in a different part of town, or with people we find to be strange, and even participate in wrongdoings of sorts. We may disagree with their childrearing techniques and their ways of speaking and living as we think they should. We may be correct within the culture to which we've been exposed, but we fail to see there are ways of living that differ from ours, that aren't necessarily wrong.

I pondered this pompous way of relating to people, as I came upon a particular Scripture while reading the Bible. It points out how we should be, regarding interacting with others within our circle. Romans 12:16 tells us to, "Live in harmony with each other. Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all."

Sometimes we must accept people as they are, love them in spite of themselves. We know little about what goes on within their heart and mind. One of my favorite quotes is from a Native American source. It goes something like this. "Never judge another until you have walked in his moccasins for two weeks." I find this advice comes in very handily in many situations.

A friend, Angela, had always dreamed of having a wonderful husband, a beautiful home and children, and all the perks that went with it. Although she craved higher education, she placed it on the back burner until later in life. Angela's dream began to materialize. She, indeed, gained a nice husband, maybe not the prince charming she had sought in her dreams, but she accepted his proposal, and they were married. A house came next, and then children. Angela had attained what she sought. However, as life became mundane, she began to find fault. Her husband failed to measure up, the neighbors had nicer houses and the children were more trouble than she expected as they grew older. What could she do, she asked herself? Angela was miserable and failed to recognize the fulfillment of her dream. Circumstances, maybe, did not measure up to what she had expected, but Angela had a gold mine all around her. She lived within the midst of it.

After seeing many mental health professionals, Angela finally began to the see the light shining upon her all along. She learned she must accept life and her circumstances as they were, and not as she had dreamed. What Angela possessed was genuine, rather than artificial. She shed tears of relief and gratefulness after she realized the wonderful life she already owned. She knew from then on she would cherish her life as it came, knowing that a happy life is built on many things. It is to accept what we already have, to appreciate who we are and own the knowledge of how blessed we truly are. We live life as it is, rather than looking for a greener field somewhere else. Contentment must be learned. Sometimes we hit rock bottom before we realize the importance of appreciation for our life. Paul writes in Philippians 4:11-13 "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am."