Life requires constantly starting over

Do you feel that you're never settled, that when you think you're on an even path, something goes wrong? Sometimes it's planned and other times, it's a shock or surprise. We constantly have to start over -- many times moving to a different environment. Consequently, our lifestyle and attitude has to change -- a result, of our new start.

Suffering is a part of having to welcome the new while we learn how to leave former ways of living. We don't always have a choice in changing directions and embracing unfamiliar paths. Columnist, Christianna Luy, says "at some point we each will face something that takes us to the end of ourselves. We can become hardened, consumed or swallowed by hurt." As Christians, we are taught that suffering is a good thing. It helps us to understand the sacrifice and immense suffering Jesus endured on the cross. We are forced to become more human, ourselves. If we did not know suffering, we would miss the opportunity to fully know Christ. Jesus was despised, rejected and acquainted with sorrow and grief. He didn't want to suffer, just as we wouldn't choose the condition. "He begged that the cup be passed from Him" (Matthew 26:39). Even though Jesus knew why he was asked to endure His ordeal, He dreaded it. We wonder, though, why we are thrust into what's inconvenient, heart-wrenching and painful. Is this from God, we ask?

I experienced a couple incidents, recently, causing me to ponder, both, the happy, and sad experiences we must face. I visited my son and his family, recently, along with a friend, Karen. She had lost her husband within the last year and was trying to make the decision as to where she, now, should live. As I listened and watched her demeanor, I acquired immense admiration for Karen. Since she knows she must move ahead, she is choosing to move close to her daughter because Karen has no family ties in her present city. This is difficult, but Karen knows she has to take a new direction. Rather than becoming angry and bitter, she intends to make a new start -- one she must make on her own, without the usual support of her husband. In thinking of Karen, I meditated on the trials we must all face and endure -- those of which we have little, if any, control. Karen knows her living situation will be different and she will have to re-learn who, SHE is, now. This is difficult but when we are suddenly forced into starting over -- with lacking excitement, necessity knocks at the door.

Another incident I experienced, recently, involved a young person adjusting to leaving his comfortable parental home to move across country for his first real job. Jimmy had recently graduated from college and immediately landed a temporary position at an institution promising experience in his field. The work served its purpose and he performed his, work there, well -- impressing his employers. Consequently, Jimmy was eventually offered a position quite far away from his parents and friends. He will, now, be forced to leave all of that, of which he's familiar. It's a bittersweet circumstance. Since, Jimmy is my nephew, I, personally witnessed his departure to return from the family home to his present apartment. His pain was evident to me. He kept saying, "Well, I'm going to leave in a minute," but he lagged. Finally, we all said, "Jimmy, get on the road, its' getting late." He reluctantly left. He realized he must disengage from the comfort and safety of his former home, and return to his new environment, now as a young man. I felt compassion for him, but it was a necessary step he had to take -- one of the many separations in life he must endure.

I could see the suffering he was feeling, while recognizing that suffering begins early and it takes many forms. Rather than despair when we're asked to make sacrifices requiring us to rethink our walk, we need to look for the purpose. Where is God calling us to go? What diamonds are ahead for us to find. Though the small steps often seem insignificant, they are the building blocks for what we're asked to do, next.

When we are asked to change or start over, we must stay in it for the long haul. Our success may lie just beyond that next hill. Don't fight against change and starting over -- rather, welcome it and look for the blessings.