In Jesus' final week, some words about family

My wife's late maternal grandmother used to say, "I wouldn't trade my family for all the tea in China."

The reference is no doubt lost on people these days but China's reputation as a wealthy tea producer goes back an estimated 5,000 years -- which may explain why my wife's ancestor called the aromatic beverage to mind so often.

Grandma's point is that her biological relatives were more important than temporal wealth, which is an idea this columnist can readily support.

As Christians mark Jesus' entry into Jerusalem on the day known as Palm -- or Passion -- Sunday to begin the last days of his temporal life, it might be well to revisit Jesus' own words about family.

The other night, as the latest episode of "The Bachelor" was viewed in our living room, a contestant said, "Family is the most important thing in my life to me."

I'm not sure Jesus of Nazareth would be first in line to cheer on that statement, based on remarks attributed to him in the Bible.

Jesus' family

Two occasions come to mind immediately in the pages of the New Testament in thinking about Jesus' relationship with his family of origin.

• Matthew 12:46-50: "While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, 'Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.' He replied to him, 'Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?' Pointing to his disciples, he said, 'Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.'"

A person I consider extraordinarily close to me is not related by blood nor do I see him often. In fact, in the past 10 years, we've seen each other exactly twice and have talked on the phone less than a handful of times over that span of time. We do text virtually on a daily basis, however. Is he family? Not under the traditional definition, no. But he's closer to me than most of my biological family, save for my wife and daughters. I wonder what Jesus would say about that relationship -- a man who, while he certainly did not ignore his mother and siblings by the accounts provided to posterity, didn't seem to spend much time with them?

• Mark 3:20-21: "Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, 'He is out of his mind.'"

True confession time. My biological relatives are all out of state and when we see one another -- and this has been the case for years -- it's awkward and uncomfortable at best.

I'm not considered mentally unbalanced by my kinfolk but they have intimated in ways impossible to miss that they don't understand why I moved to Missouri 34 years ago and why I consider the Show Me State as my permanent home.

A disinterested observer

The late Edwin Friedman wrote a deeply impactful book, "Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue".

The text is just as boring as the title would suggest.

One paragraph from Friedman's 1985 work has long resonated with me as the author showed, using graphic examples, that the relationships between biological family members can get twisted into unimaginable shapes by the tensions of life, by misunderstandings and by unresolved hurts.

Friedman, in the best line from the more than 300-page book, wrote the following.

"The bonds of family never truly break."

As we see Jesus through his passion this week as he walks the Via Dolorosa to his execution, it is important to recall one of the Nazarene's statements from the cross, in which during his dying moments, the Lord entrusted the care of his mother, Mary, to his beloved disciple -- probably John.

Despite all that went between Jesus and his mother, he never forgot his responsibility to take care of her, even after He passed.

"Son, behold your mother. Mother, behold your Son." -- John 19:26-27.

Reader, if things are not perfect between you and your relatives, allow the story of Jesus and his mother to give comfort.

The bond between the two was bruised and tangled and twisted -- but it never broke.

A blessed Holy Week to you all.