Rubbing off on each other

Back when I was in seminary at Wilmore, Kentucky, I met Mike Hodge. I was taking a class of Dr. Don Joy's about human social patterns and there was this shorter kind of chubby guy on the front row. I never liked the front row, so I was toward the back of the room. Dr. Joy spoke quite frankly one day on intimate issues, and Mike's ears turned every shade of red. I knew right then that Mike was my kind of guy. Turns out he went home and tore the book of Joy's in two and threw it away.

I got to know Mike, and then my family got to know Mike's family, his wife and three girls. We had two boys, so between us we had quite a conglomeration. Once a week, my family would load up and drive to Mike's place and watch the "A-Team" and eat popcorn. Once in a while, we'd bring supper which many times was toasted cheese or bologna sandwiches, and at times they would provide supper, which was toasted cheese or bologna sandwiches. Government cheese!

Mike and I spent time together, so he rubbed off on me, and I rubbed off on him. We shared and prayed together and struggled together and probably cried together. Mike's wife had pancreatic problems, so she was sick a lot. Marge was struggling with health issues, and the doctors couldn't figure out what was the problem. I was going to seminary and working pretty much full-time and probably stretched too thin at home. It was a trying few years. But we rubbed each other smoother than if we'd been alone.

Seems like growing up, Dad always had horses around. If one had cattle, which Dad did, horses were a necessity. Between Uncle Buster and Dad, there was always a colt to start or work on. Dad believed in putting the colts and young horses in different situations and getting them used to something unexpected. Dad would tangle them up in a rope, and when the horse quit struggling, Dad would get it free and praise the horse. Then he'd tangle it up again, and do a redo again and again. Dad's quiet spirit would rub off on that horse. Dad loved horses.

A parent's job is to raise their kids and to teach them right from wrong. But very few of the so-called experts ever talk about helping rub the rough spots off of the kids. It's seems like it's always teaching them, but hardly ever low-tech one on one, show and rub smooth. On an average, how many hours per day do the Mom and Dad and child spend together? Maybe a half hour to an hour in the morning before the little one is off to school and Mom and Dad to work. Maybe a couple or three hours in the evening. Knock off time wasted in front of the TV or staring at our phones, and it looks almost pathetic.

Professor Joy said the one factor that affected the outcome of children the most was simply sitting down together and eating. No TV or radio or phones or distractions -- simply eating together and visiting. Growing up, there were very few meals where it wasn't the four of us together for breakfast and supper. Work and school made eating dinner together difficult. During the summer when we were in the hayfield, Mom would bring dinner out to us, or when away from home we'd put up a shade by a tractor and eat in the shade, Mick and I and one other person, sometimes Dad. But there was an effort to eat together every meal, thus spending time rubbing each other smooth.

Activities can become a means of dividing the family and need to be monitored. When activity after activity means the family goes in different directions like "Mom and child" and "Dad and child", these may need to be minimized.

In my opinion one of the greatest benefits of growing up in the mid 1900s was the bonds formed in the family.