By Mix 96.5's Resident Chubby Cherub, Mr. Parker

After seeing last month's cover you're probably thinking that I'm a bit on the portly side. I used to be like a little girl when it came to comments like "big guy", "big boy", "living large", and so on. I used to get all defensive and hurt about it. However I've managed to overcome and have ended up with a gorgeous wife despite being a hefty six-foot tall--210 pounds. Seriously she's hot, and since she's my wife you know I'm not just saying that to get laid. And if I wasn't comfortable with who I was I would not have dressed up in just a diaper for the cover of a major publication like Off Magazine.

All diaper jokes aside I have not let the childhood ridicule of being "husky" and "big-boned" affect me in any way. Which brings me to something I would like you to think about. What mistakes or problems if any, do you blame on childhood events or experiences in your past? Personally I'm sick of hearing people blame their actions on what life has thrown at them. Killing ten fellow students because you can't handle ridicule is not an excuse. Get over it. People are mean and providing you don't end up in jail any time soon, you will learn that people are vicious and evil in the workplace as well as school. It happens to 85 percent of everyone. And by the way, drowning five of your kids because of post-traumatic stress disorder is not going to cut it. Get over it. Quit believing the psychobabble of modern times. Bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people. It's life. It might not be fair or just, but it's the way things go. To quote Val Kilmers' character Doc Holiday from Tombstone "There is no normal life Wyatt, there's just life." Sounds corny, but it's true!

I'm going to admit something that I don't tell many people. So feel somewhat special. My father wigged out when I was like eight years old and suddenly "found God". As if God was missing! Anyway he went off the deep end. I mean the DEEEEEEEP END. He burned my mothers' records, burned my brother's He-Man toys and only allowed us to interact with items that were sanctioned by his church. He was a zealot, plain and simple. Luckily my mom divorced him and things were set back to a more normal orbit. While my father was a complete loon, I did not let that affect me as a person. I did not piss and moan expecting people to give me a little extra just because my father had problems. I could have but thanks to real role models like my mother's father and my mother's brothers I learned how to be a man about it. I accepted my heritage, and did not envy those who I saw as more fortunate than me.

Some people are indeed more fortunate than you and I, and have things go the right way for them their entire life. They end up with a decent job that they're not qualified to do making more money than you, a faithful spouse whom they cheat on, beautiful kids who they take for granted and don't value, and a life of success they cannot appreciate. That my dear-friend, is the true tragedy. Why? Because people like that take things for granted. They will never treat the poor like a friend and the rich and powerful like an enemy. They will never have a mind of their own. And they will live a life of true submission, like thirty million others in this country, sucking the phallus of the "in crowd". Get up and get over it my friends or prepare to choke!