Quiet workers unite

Don't you hate those overly eager beavers at work?

You invite them to lunch and they say, "Oh, no! I'm too busy for lunch! I don't know how YOU find the time."

Or you're packing up at quitting time, and they're monitoring your departure. "Leaving already?" they say. "OK, well, have a good night. I've still got a few hours left."

Or they call you extra early in the morning with some cockamamie excuse to let you know they're already in the office. "Just wanted to ask you about the Smith memo ..."

Let's face it. It's the new millennium. Our companies cut bodies and combined jobs years ago, and they aren't coming back. In fact, we've even forgotten the good old days when we weren't asked to pick up for Bob or Mike until they can "find a replacement." And we do it with a smile, because gas is $2.05 a gallon now, and you've got to have it to get to work.

Plus food. Food is good.

So we're all working hard - taking stuff home at night and on the weekends. It's just that some of us do it quietly, and others want a ticker-tape parade.

And now we quiet hard workers have reason to unite.

In fact, the next time my overly eager beaver comes over, I'm going to say, "Please regale me with more exciting stories about your long, lunchless workday. I'M LIVING FOR IT!!!"

I invite you to do the same.

Because now research shows the people who spend the most time at their desks could be the least productive in the office.

A Baltimore Sun article last month cited job coaches and other experts who say those folks might be disorganized or spending too much time on little tasks such as e-mail, paralyzing them from moving along.

The most productive workers are getting enough sleep at night and dissecting their projects into little tasks, taking regular breaks and eating healthy snacks throughout the day, such as yogurt, fruit, nuts or cheese instead of coffee and candy.

They even engage in a little small talk to keep the day interesting.

For me, the tough part of workday balance is those planned, 10-minute breaks. It was easier when I was a regular smoker, and 10 minutes was exactly enough time to get out, smoke one and then get back in.

My non-smoker friends would say, "You could always walk around outside and not smoke."

My question to them - then how would you know when to come back inside?

I'm lucky. My bosses want me to have a life, so they approve when I can shave off an hour here or there.

What if you don't have an understanding boss and must spend the days chained to your desk? How do you take a break and get those juices flowing again? Here's my advice:

1. Tighten and relax your muscles one at a time, starting with your calves and ending with your lips. When your boss comes by and sees your clenched teeth, he will think you are so intense about your job that you can't be bothered.

2. Keep a fun hobby under your desk that can be worked on from time to time - say, a ship in a bottle or macrame. Keep your back to the aisle. If anyone sees you hunkered down there, just mutter, "Darn computer connection."

3. Occasionally emit a primal scream. Then say, "Yeeessssss! I landed the Henderson account!"

4. Practice meditation in the quiet of a bathroom stall. Most of your co-workers will take off quickly if they know you've been in there for a while.

But hopefully you're allowed to just walk around or something.

Heidi Hall is a former managing editor for the Southeast Missourian. She resides in St. Petersburg, Fla.